- Discuss with your partner when you’ll both announce the news. The rate of miscarriage drops dramatically after the first trimester at around 10-12 weeks, so each of you may have a personal preference for who should know about your loss in the event of a miscarriage. However, among my friends at least, it seems one partner goes to extraordinary lengths to hide the news while the other kicks off a spree of oversharing, beginning with the strangers on the street outside the medical center.
- Decide when you should tell your parents, and your partner’s parents. In my rule book, this should pre-date the telling to any other friend, sibling or colleague. After all, being a grandparent for the first time is probably even more exciting than being a parent.
- Discuss with your friends and/or partner when you should tell your work colleagues. I confess that I stretched this out for as long as humanly possible, with a clever assortment of untucked work shirts, wild patterns, a prototype of what became Belly Belt so I could wear my regular work wardrobe. I finally let slip at around the 5 month mark when I’m sure no-one was a bit surprised.
- Enjoy the telling. I once pulled a Christmas bon-bon apart and read a customized “joke riddle” aloud to my family announcing my news. Another time I made my husband close his eyes and hold out his hand, into which I placed the positive pregnancy test.
- Be aware friends who suspect will watch your drinking habits closely for confirmation. Enjoy an “alcoholic drink” to really confuse those around you. Pre-fill a bottle of champagne with sparkling mineral water mixed with lime or pineapple juice for colour. Tell guests it’s the only wine/champagne that’s been treated with expensive preservative reducing drops to prevent allergies…. so you can’t possibly share it.
